Chapter 130 Childhood
Lu Yao looked straight at me, her expression was extraordinarily serious, inevitably giving me a desire to explore. I lowered my eyes for a moment, gently tugging at the scarf around my neck, and was slightly silent for a moment before looking at her again and nodding fiercely.
She did not immediately open her mouth, but towards the window of those who come and go a glance, her eyes gradually become melancholy, as if there are countless memories surging to the heart.
Only then did she, in an extraordinarily calm manner, tell her story.
Lu Yao was born into an ordinary farming family, she didn't mention where exactly, but only said that her only impression of the place was that it was very poor.
Her mother died very early, and even in Lu Yao's memory, she couldn't even recall the woman's face, and the only thing she could remember was that she always cried and cried at home, as if she had endless tears.
Her father was an alcoholic, and his only hobby on weekdays was drinking, other than that, nothing seemed to be able to attract his attention, a family of three, living in a small house at the end of the village. Occasionally, her father was drunk, and when he came home to see her mother's crying face, he would get angry in his heart, and beat and kicked her mother, and she could only hide under the plank bed to cover her mouth and watch, and even if she cried, she didn't dare to make a sound, because if her father found out, she wouldn't have to suffer for a while.
She didn't understand her parents' attitude at that time, she just felt that the eyes of the two of them looked at her with exceptional indifference, and compared with the families of other children in the same village, they seemed unusually rusty.
But although she was very young, from the time she could walk and move, she needed to do work for the family, going to the field to see the firewood, going to the ridge to cut the pigweed. Sometimes when she came home late, she would be beaten up just as violently. Her days before the age of seven were spent in this environment.
I listened to her narration, and although the tone was extremely flat and the process was brief, she didn't seem to want to render these things too sad. However, when I imagined it in my own mind, I felt unusually painful, not understanding how in the world she had survived.
Lu Yao looked at me and said, Tan Xi, I never understood why I met these things, and even my peers in the village are afraid of my father, no one wants to play with me, no one dares to meddle in our family's affairs, the only thing they will say to me is that I carry a basket on the way home to come out and laugh around me, scolding me for being a drunkard's crazy girl, and then do it to the good dry branches or hogweed are all overturned, I can only cry and put things out. When I came out, I could only cry and put things away, but when I got back to the door, I wiped away my tears and pretended to be fine, but if I went back late, I would still be scolded.
Shortly afterward, Lu Yao's mother, unable to bear these days, quietly felt her way out of the house on a moonless night. Lu Yao was not asleep at the time, but just curious, so he tiptoed behind his mother. The two of them, one after the other, didn't go far out of the village before they reached the river outside the village. Her mother sat there alone and cried and cried for a long time, and finally wiped her tears and jumped into the river with a plop.
At that time she was only a four or five year old child, where had she ever seen such a thing, her heart was shocked and scared, she only saw her mother flopping a few times in the cold drinking water, and finally sank, leaving this world forever.
When I heard this, I was a little surprised in my heart. But Lu Yao let out a laugh and said, Tan Xi, that kind of scene, I guess if you nowadays went to see it, you would definitely be scared too. My mom had already seen me when she jumped into the river at that time. I never knew what I had done wrong, but the way she looked at me, the hatred in her eyes was clearly visible. She looked at me like that for half a day before she ended her life.
I opened my mouth to comfort Lu Yao a few words, but on second thought, this is already don't know what year it is, now she, I guess she doesn't care about everything back then.
Lu Yao continued to say, after her mother jumped into the river, she has been standing at the edge of the river and watched, it is very strange, although her heart is afraid, although fear, but she did not drop a tear, and even did not call for help from the people, just watched her mother from the violent struggle, and finally slowly sank, she turned around, and then along the way, slowly go home, pretending to fall asleep, on the things that happened just now, did not say a word about it.
The next morning, her father could not find her mother, perhaps thought that her mother and others ran away or something, suddenly angry, the things at home, catching what smashed what, Lu Yao also became a punching bag, was beaten very badly, half of the life is almost gone. But she cried, she screamed, but always clenched her teeth, not a word about her mother's death.
Speaking of this, Lu Yao smiled miserably, she turned her head away, looked at her reflection in the window and said, "At that time, I thought I was going to be beaten to death like that, I couldn't even make a sound of crying. I hid everywhere in the house, crawled under the bed, and was dragged out again to continue the beating, running out of the house. I was also chased by my father and beaten with a wooden stick to the point where I couldn't get up for fear. At that time, the commotion was really big, almost everyone in the village came out, one by one, stood by the side, some people could not stand to watch and wanted to persuade, but they also knew that my father was a scoundrel, and in the end, they could not say a word. I cried and looked at them, and I realized from that moment on that the world was not as it should be.
For two days after that, Lu Yao didn't leave the house once, she was so badly hurt that she couldn't even get up from her bed. Her father didn't care about her either, in his eyes, Lu Yao felt like a bedbug in the toilet, she couldn't even enter his eyes.
Then on the third day, someone finally found her mother's body and ran to her house to report it. She only heard the man say that the body was found downstream from the river, and that it was soaked and swollen, so it had probably been dead for some time.
Lu Yao lay on the bed, quietly listening without making a sound. His father was probably also scared not clear, the wine suddenly woke up half, hurriedly followed the man out the door. After a long time, only to see them, carrying a coffin back, the home place is small, can not put, no way can only be placed on the street outside the door, close to the house door position.
That night, the lights in the house were on all night, her father sat on a small bench by the door, leaning crookedly against the door, disheveled like a dead man, Lu Yao looked at him all the time, I don't know when he fell asleep. When she woke up the next day, she realized that her father's eyes, red and swollen, full of blood, seemed to have cried for quite some time, and it was also at that time that Lu Yao realized that this fierce father of his would also have sad times.
Her mother funeral process is very simple, this village is relatively backward, the second poor and remote, just casually find a cemetery buried, in accordance with the customs of the village to find a cultured people wrote a white paper couplets, pasted on the door, simple get a, even if it is the end.
However, people's curiosity is also uncontrollable, which at that time, is not a small matter. For her mother's death, people in the village have speculated and discussed, some people say because of his father's relationship, usually on their mother and daughter are not playing is scolding, her mother can not stand, a moment of thought can not throw the river. This is still closer to the truth.
But some people say, this kind of day is not a day or two, to die early death, that also waited until this time, may be in the river a moment lost their footing and fell down, just an ordinary accident. Some people even spread some rumors, saying that she had run into a water ghost, and that the water ghost was looking for a substitute and happened to meet her mother, so she was dragged into the river and drowned.
Lu Yao heard these words in her ears, but never uttered a word. The events of that night were deeply imprinted in her heart, but somehow she just didn't want to talk about it, she witnessed the whole process, but she couldn't figure out what her mother was really thinking.
But since then, her father's scolding of her was unexpectedly less, at first it was just muddled, what to do what to do, as if he could not see that he had such a daughter, sort of regardless. Lu Yao is also happy to be at ease, only to do their own things, so as not to her father when he is crazy again, looking for excuses that she vent.
But after that, things gradually changed, and her father suddenly became nicer to her, caring about her life and living, concerned about whether her daily work was too tiring, and even treating her with a smile on his face. This sounds good, but this counterintuitive look, but let Lu Yao more fear, every time and her father to talk, are trembling fearful, his father this change, some puzzled.
When I heard this, I originally wanted to say that perhaps because of the death of Lu Yao's mother, his father finally realized that he had treated his mother and daughter poorly on weekdays, and he felt sorry for them and wanted to make up for it.
But here, Lu Yao's emotions suddenly agitated, my body to see her hands on the table, slowly clenched fists. For a while, all the words in my stomach just had to be swallowed.
Lu Yao said, that period of time, she has been unable to get used to, but time slowly past, her father to her still like that, her heart's guard only gradually put down, her body's injuries are also gradually good, every day to eat more up, compared to the previous days, comfortable don't know how much.
But her heart just unloaded and his father's mustache, which know suddenly one day, suddenly a man came to their home. The man's appearance is very strange, Lu Yao has never seen, so hide in the house do not dare to come out. Her father was exceptionally enthusiastic, entertaining others with good food and drink, and insisting that Lu Yao go out and show him to others.
Lu Yao described it to me, saying that the man looked at her as if he were looking at an animal, let her turn around and check if there was anything wrong with her.
When I heard this, I felt bad in my heart.
Lu Yao gave a despondent laugh and said, Tan Xi, it was that day that my father sold me!