Chapter 0: Self Description of a Loser
Cai Ling, F City, a second-rate college students a loser, height one meter seven, weight but reached one hundred and seventy-seven, in addition to the peasant origin, with the current words is the standard loser, in addition to the dormitory ranked third, and got a dangling nickname – three fat.
Dick Cai Ling past twenty years of experience nothing to say, to seriously say up to half an hour can finish, nothing more than on the elementary school, middle school, high school, and then college, the middle of the insertion of a number of times to be rejected, chasing the goddess as a loser of the miserable experience, broadcast the audience a laugh, so in the first semester of the first semester of the university began to be the beginning of the experience of his dick turnaround, it is worth a speech.
Freshman semester is in 201* after the New Year's Eve, Lantern Festival just after the first day of school, the dormitory boss pulled four losers out of the dormitory to rub a small meal.
After eating and drinking, the four began to shop the famous student street in F city, unexpectedly but accidentally saw the hostel old four long desired goddess is also shopping, at this time as a loser in the former, the elite in the spare tire Cai Ling lulled the old four to accost, and the remaining three brothers on the sidelines to observe, ready to eliminate the possible competitors.
That said, after seeing Lao Si farting around and following the goddess into a supermarket, the three of them chatted and farted in front of the supermarket, but Cai Ling was wriggling and restless at this point, looking around.
"Hey, three fat, what are you doing, is not to see the old four can approach the goddess heart itching, but also think of your favorite goddess ah." The oldest handed Cai Ling a cigarette and then said with a smile, the oldest two also followed the coaxing.
"Go, go, what are you kidding, Laozi is now a person who aspires to be a modernized standard college student, rejecting the goddess and staying away from the rich and handsome, but have you ever felt that there seems to be some gloomy feeling here ah." Cai Ling replied.
"Bah, dead three fat, again fucking want to use ghost stories to scare old me, now in broad daylight where is the gloom and cold, tell you, dare to talk nonsense again, go back and serve with the family law." Boss wowed, last semester just came soon everyone in the dormitory bored, Cai Ling told a few ghost stories but the boss has always been respect for the gods and ghosts far away from the boss scared to sleep in the middle of the night.
Cai Ling smiled and didn't say anything, this time he wasn't scaring the boss, but he felt uncomfortable as soon as he arrived here, he always felt like he was being stared at by a gaze.
"Huh, this glass bead is quite pretty, boss, how much is this glass bead, I'll buy it." Just when Cai Ling was thinking nonsense, the old man suddenly said, Cai Ling sniffed and looked, and saw the old man pinching a colorful glass bead to play with, that kind of glass bead is an ordinary ornament, but Cai Ling was thinking, because he felt staring at his own as if it was this glass bead.
After Lao Er played his bargaining skills to buy this glass bead, Cai Ling used the reason of appreciating whether it was an antique or not to borrow the glass bead to play with it, but before he started to observe it, he saw Lao Si walking out of the supermarket with a depressed face.
"What's wrong Lao Si, where's your goddess, didn't help carry anything or anything to step into the forbidden place?" Cai Ling joked, to say that college students in and out of the girls' dormitory this kind of thing should be very normal, but their dormitory four big losers froze a did not enter, so it was sealed as a forbidden place.
"Hey, don't say, today is really fucking bad luck, such a good opportunity actually ran into Mo Kang." The oldest four hated said.
"I wipe, the art department of high wealth handsome to your goddess down, finished, old four you have no hope, go, back to the dormitory, jack two go, half a day not jack are itchy hands." Cai Ling pulled Lao Si said.
Speaking of LOL that for losers that is no one knows no one knows the existence of countless heroes for the waist, so the four are also excited to discuss the LOL up, the seven-colored glass beads were also Cai Ling casually stuffed into the pants pocket.
At one in the morning, even jerked a dozen of Cai Ling the first physical exhaustion, shut down the computer ready to sleep, when he suddenly touched the afternoon of the glass beads bought by the second, ready to take a good look at the lazy to take the lamp on the cell phone illumination, and by the way, lying back in bed.
Cai Ling eyes on the glass beads, the glass beads issued a colorful light shot, into his eyes, Cai Ling two eyes black and lost consciousness.
When Cai Ling regained consciousness again, he found himself in a dark empty space, "Damn, is that glass bead a magic weapon? Is this the rhythm that I'm going to cross over? Haha, otherworldly sisters, your fat brother is here." After a while Cai Ling suddenly exclaimed.
"This isn't crossing over, but in your own mind, I just pulled your soul out." Suddenly an old voice rang out.
"Ah, ah, who are you and where is this? I want to get out." The sudden sound scared Cai Ling out of his butt.
"Don't be afraid, the poor Taoist is just a Taoist priest who has been dead for many years, the poor Taoist ……"
"Aaah, mama, ghost ah …… help." Hearing the first sentence Cai Ling almost collapsed, dead for many years, that is not a ghost? Although Cai Ling has always been quite bold, as a child also play in the cemetery in the middle of the night are not afraid, but really see a ghost, the same fear of death.
"Quiet!" Suddenly that old voice said loudly, immediately subdued Cai Ling, open mouth did not dare to speak.
"The poor road and no malicious intent, the poor road is just this nine states of the earth of a monk, cultivation of one hundred and twenty years, Taoism peak but it is difficult to escape the cycle of life and death, before sitting down before the poor road to think of their own body of Taoism, but there is no mantle heirloom, so this is the exhaustion of a lifetime of learning to make a counter-intuitive move, stripping out their own memories, replicated in the seven-star dragon bead in the middle of the waiting for the fated person! ." The old voice continued.
"This, this, so you are taking me as a disciple?" Cai Ling stammered, but in his heart, he couldn't help but think of the "Sable Master" and "Pill Old Man" in the famous novels, this is a heavenly golden finger ah.
"It can be said so, but I'm just a remnant soul, I won't last more than a few years, so you'll have to rely on your own efforts to learn a few of my skills."
"Eh, I don't want to ask this, what I want to ask is, can I live forever by worshipping you as a teacher? Or is it always possible to be a genius and invincible, and then not squeeze glory and wealth." Cai Ling said.
"Poor Tao five years old began to cultivate, after one hundred and twenty years do not dare to talk about longevity, cultivation of people are not good fame and fortune, never talk about the enemy, not to mention that there are mountains outside the mountains, people outside the people, glory, wealth and riches is even more than passing clouds and smoke, so-called ……"
"Stop, senior, I know what you mean, and I also know that the people of monasticism is very hard, so I decided to recommend to senior a few talents, such as my dormitory boss, Du Ming grew up with good character and excellent, but also a good person, do good things never leave a name, very suitable for the Taoist priests of this occupation, and then can not be the oldest two Dai Xingbiao, don't look at him a little dull, he is hard work and research Good boy, since he was a child, he has won countless times the three good students, there is also the oldest four Cao Huo Mu, the wit is incomparable, especially smart, senior you see how they are, surely suitable to be your disciple." Cai Ling interrupted the man's words, chirping and blah blah blah blah, anyway, the meaning of one, can not live forever, can not make money, but also can not be particularly powerful fights, cultivate a hairline ah.
"Cultivation pay attention to fate, this seven star dragon pearl wandering around for decades, today only met you, is and you have fate, other than that, ready to worship the master." The old voice had no intention of getting angry.
Cai Ling secretly despised that voice, worship? You say to worship ah, this kind of thankless thing I do not do it, who love to do who do.
"Hey, hey, what's wrong with me, I wipe, why am I kneeling down ah, I go, I don't want to kowtow, help ah ……" Cai Ling suddenly shouted, because his body suddenly his own control can't be controlled, but also made a kneeling and kowtowing behavior.
"line, worship ritual closed, you officially became my Lingxu Zi disciple, now I introduce you to the origin of the teacher and the history of cultivation."
"Cultivation people know is Taoism, also the five-doumei religion, well, these things you go to check some information to know for the division is not in the word, for the division today want to say is not the cultivation is not that you remember that way, cultivation is ……"
"Senior, I want to ask you a question, how in the world do you see me? Is not I that a body of fat ah, I have long told myself a body of fat hated ah, I also want to lose weight, there have been dozens of weight loss program, but because of the …… "Cai Ling interrupted Lingxu Zi's words, self-conscious son of the words, did not say that was a huge whip to interrupt.
"Snap" sound, the sudden appearance of the whip Cai Ling hit a stagger, Cai Ling suddenly wailed ho up, "Do not shout, today is just to give you a lesson, let know what is to honor the teacher, for the teacher to speak when not allowed to interrupt." Lingxu Zi said.
Cai Ling covered his hands, did not dare to speak, the good man refuses the loss beforehand has always been his motto, he does not feel rebellious now.
"Well, about the origin of the teacher for the teacher will not say you will naturally know later, the history of Taoism you can also check in reality, now first let you look at the teacher's memories, so that you know what is the cultivation of Taoism." Ling Xu Zi said.
Said in front of Cai Ling a light screen, the light screen appeared in a young man wearing a Taoist robe, in cross-legged cultivation, then there are drawing talismans, alchemy, and other things, and then there is to subdue the demons and remove the devil ……
Suddenly, a bang woke Cai Ling up, followed by that familiar voice: "Du Ming, Dai Xingbiao, Cai Ling, Cao Huo Mu, you four bastards, you're late on the first day of school, do you still want to pass this semester."
"I groove, counselor." Cai Ling shouted out, he had forgotten that today was the first day of school, he had long been informed that there would be a morning meeting, and after reading countless deeds of Ling Xiu Zi in his mind last night, Cai Ling was feeling very tired, and slowly lost consciousness.
"Cai Ling, what did you say, trough who." Hearing Cai Ling's words, the counselor roared again.
"Ah, ah I didn't say anything." Cai Ling ah ah ah replied, hands and feet numbly began to put on clothes, simply do not dare to look at the counselor squarely, this counselor is said to be the outstanding graduates of the previous sessions of this school, was left behind by the school, when the counselor is just a gold-plated, I did not expect that he did it on the addiction, a when it was a number of years, usually no matter whether it is with men and women get along well, but initiated the temper is also quite fiery.
"You four, run laps for me." Waiting for the four to get dressed, the counselor then faintly said.
"How many laps!" The oldest four, Cao Huo Mu, suddenly asked with a cheap mouth.
"Run until I'm happy!" The counselor replied coldly.
Thus, there were four more people "exercising" in the playground of a Polytechnic College in F City.
"Third, what's wrong with you, the dormitory's alarm clock has always been in your hands, you're trying to kill me ah, I haven't exercised for months, this run is going to fall apart." The oldest two Dai Xingbiao panted and said.
"Don't fucking bullshit, run, Lao Zi this fat body didn't even talk, you talk shit." Cai Ling cursed back, he almost stormed out now, because that Lingxu Zi appeared again, criticizing Cai Ling in his mind, and then started to teach him how to breathe and how to have luck in a long-winded manner.
"Alright, stop talking, the counselor is there watching, none of you usually exercise much, all of you run slower or your body won't be able to take it." Boss Du Ming made a round-up, he often played soccer to build up all his muscles, running laps was just a small thing for him.
So the four people began to run laps again painful movement.